So many children today are bereft of love and attention for which they are longing. This is a simple synopsis of the book, but it makes the point, I believe, that the author is trying to convey.

However, the list is small, not as big as most of us adults make it. Of course there a limits, – safety, well-being, politeness, etc. Then when they are teenagers and start facing more grown up issues, they won’t shut down against us, but instead will see us a a resource that they can use to navigate growing up. By not pushing our agenda onto our kids, we can learn and grow with them. Many times we get upset with our kids because they don’t do it ‘our way’, or listen to exactly what we want them to do. In other words, try and see the world through their eyes and relax. She believes that we need to be ‘in the moment’ with our kids. That is the sure way to eventually stifle their ability to grow and become the best person that they can be. Discipline means to teach, not to threat, hit, scold, berate, pick on, howler at, belittle, etc our children. Tsabary’s other book “Out of Control” is that ‘discipline’ as most of us know it is not the way to actually help our children grow and succeed in the world. The major premise of this book and for Ms. I submit it is worth it for teachers and anyone who deals with youth. It’s a good book to read if you are the type of person who can tolerate self-reflection.Īnother book from my daughter who has a 2 year old son. These trends are discussed in the book and it goes into detail why it can be so damaging to a child’s sense of independence. I never understood this trend but I’ve felt the enormous pressure the conform to it.

Unfortunately it’s taken a whole generation to begin convincing society to see the negative effects of helicopter parenting, over-scheduling kids’ activities, and not allowing children to fail/learn from their mistakes early on before it becomes life changing. I’ve noticed the more I am present for my children when they need it, they become less clingy and more content they are. Even though I grew up successful using my own strengths, the fact that I had to go against their wishes still created an underlying insecurity that still exits. My whole life, my family pushed their agenda on me in areas I didn’t shine or care for. I’ve become more conscious of not pushing my agenda on them but helping them cultivate their own unique strengths. We’ve recently found their passions in gymnastics and golf. This book helped me put my own situation in perspective as I have a gifted child and a child with special needs. I’m glad that I had access to this book while my children are still small. The boundaries are now blurred because we have been bombarded with technology in a short period of time. Today, parents are completely distracted with their iPhones and social media, not to mention work.

Dr shefali the conscious parent